My flat mate and I, gave ourselves a good talking to a couple of weeks ago. We said we can not keep staying in this apartment. If we want a life we have to find the nearest forgein bar and make an effort to drink once a week no matter how much it costs and just get ourselves our there. I am glad to report back that if the universe was giving prizes for the most enthusiastic, we would have it. We have certainly been making a dedicated go of it. In the last three weeks we have drunken called Shanghai from our Club Balcony (Which is now what we call the balcony because it looks like a shebeen every morning after), sang Justin Timberlake's Sexy back and danced on a Tuesday night till 3am, taken a tuk tuk from one club to another, met a German, Spaniard, American, Irishman, Englishman and a very friendly drunk Chinese girl who sloppy kissed us and gave us tequila. I have a sneaky feeling all these new friends we are meeting are less to do with my hot J-Lo drunken dancing at 4am that have been rekindled in full force, and more to do with the fact that Flatmate is tall, blonde, hot and chatty. But hey, I am just going with it here. And as long as it gets me fun and free beer, I am not complaining.
On the last excursion we met some people, they took us to a Authentic Chinese dance club. Cheese and rice! It was pumping with Chinese ass. Not J-Lo and P-diddy hot but they were giving it a good go I must tell you. When we squeezed onto the dance floor I felt like a bit of a celebrity I cannot lie and I was actually flattered that some fat (and I mean American fat not Chinese fat) Chinese bloke tried to hump and grind dance me from behind...who knew my elbow was still such a powerful weapon. The English bloke with us kept talking in an Indian accent, the Irish guy had a Sargent Pepper (you know The Beatles) moustache and I kept thinking of Danial Day Louis in Gangs of New York. and the American girl was pole dancing with some Chinitos like she was Britney Spears drunk at the prom. Classic classic night that I won't soon forget. This is what I have been doing wrong, travelling is not about museums and eating weird god awful food (well not all the time)...no! travelling is about humping, I mean dancing, with the locals and catching a 30 minute taxi drive at 5am and trying not to pass out on the way home in case you wake up sold to some Gangster from Nepal as a sex slave for Arabs...Dudes, I have seen Taken...you can't be too careful.
China has really shown us her fun promiscuous side this last month and we like it! Add some more sunshine days and my visa and I think I could get used to this. And although I thought I was to old to moon walk across a dance floor at 3am, it turns out I am not...although my liver may disagree...and the person who I stood on last Wednesday...but they are just being party poopers.
